In-between 

It’s not all bad, the change in season.

Sure, we’re no longer floating, bellies to the sky in our swimming hole or soaking up rays in the garden, but the sun, on the days it decides to put on a show, is much sweeter now. We appreciate it more.  We haven’t had a fire since last spring, so we appreciate it more too. 

Autumn is the melting point of the life we’ve built since January and the darkness we’re headed towards; it’s the time to both reap the rewards and tie up the loose ends. It brings both shadow and richness with the in-between. 

The simple pleasures of autumn in our home involve the peeling of many apples, the work shared by all available hands, the sweet smell of cinnamon, crustless pumpkin pie (for the gluten-free members), and piping hot cups of coffee enjoyed between my husband and I. It also involves the last-minute hustle to fill the woodshed with wood we should have prepared sooner and to pluck the carrots and potatoes before the ground traps them in until spring. We used to do these tasks alone, just he and I, but now we appreciate the extra hands. 

There is a rhythm to the work in a cyclical honouring of life, so I’ve been here before, many times over. I’ve tasted the sweetness of apple cider on my lips and watched as our wide-eyed little ones felt its spark. With a babe on my back and hand in each of mine, I’d caution them “not to spill” over their cup half-full, always close to my last nerve. 

Now I pour them each warm mugs full to the brim because they’re older now, their hands still a bit too big for their bodies, but their bellies never satisfied. Truthfully, I know that many of these autumn rituals have lived out their sweetness in our home, and that the ones that remain are extra rich. And while this in-between, rolls far too quickly into the next, it’s not all bad, the change in season. 

Jacquelyn Toupin is a birthkeeper & intuitive healer supporting women to evolve into their truest selves. You can follow along on her Instagram @the.art.of.mothering